I ‘m gonna keep the fact that I relate to most horror movies due to my secret fantasies of gorily mutilating people to myself. Wait…damn! You didn’t hear that! What I meant to say was…I identify most with Zombieland. I feel the pain of my undead brothers. That need to devour flesh burns in me as it does all of us, but we are persecuted and even shot in the head for it. Whatever happened to tolerance? Nah, late April fools. The reason I chose zombie land is that honestly, as horror fans, how many of us have a zombie plan? Admit it. I know I do. I have no idea what the hell I would do during an earthquake, flood, hurricane, or nuclear holocaust, but when (not IF, WHEN) the dead walk the earth, I know exactly what to do. For a public speaking class in college I even did a speech about proper hand to hand weapon selection when combating zombies. Yes, I did get an A on it, thanks for asking. Anyway, when I saw Zombieland in the theater and Columbus started spouting off the rules, my friends and I just looked at each other wide eyed, because a lot of those things we had already discussed. The fact that someone took that much time to make rules about zombie survival reminds me so much of the drunken conversations that my friends and I often have that it’s definitely the movie I relate to most. Except for that whole Rule 1: Cardio thing. Yeah, not so much.
Ps. Sorry this entry is pretty brief folks. I live in Atlanta, and it’s Wrestlemania weekend (wrestling is my other addiction) and I’m going to 4 wrestling shows in 3 days, so this one and tomorrow’s are going to be short. There are only so many hours in the day.
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